BAE.

There’s always that one person that will always have your heart,
You never see it coming cause you’re blinded from the start
Know that you’re that one for me, it’s clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you’ll always be my boo.

Usher feat. Alicia Keys, “My Boo”

 

Helllllooooo, it’s me. I’m IS back!! I know, I know, I say it with each new post….but seriously…I’m here…at least for this post anyway. So, hope you’ve been amazing since our last chat. It’s my hope that you’ve grown, healed, some how become a better human being or whatever on your journey.

So….I think I have a BAE. Like I real one…unofficially. But I don’t want to make a big fuss about it. I don’t do the whole title, commitment to title, and acknowledgement to bond stuff to well. I don’t know…I think we tend to make a big production sometimes out of things that are just common knowledge. I’ve had “bae” and the whole spill in my day, and yet a titles didn’t make bae mine anymore than the clarinet i had to give back at the end of the school year in grade school. Okay, maybe I lie a little…I never played the clarinet…I’m an ar-teast (artist), let me paint my picture here… I’ve had those that were “just friends” and have been in love with “just friend.” I’m learning that while titles aren’t completely irrelevant, they aren’t everything.

Journey with me. Think with me. Let’s talk for a bit.

So, I’ve been single for a while. Like nobody wants me. I mean…people want my elmo…but they don’t want my brain or my heart or whatever…you know…all the stuff that wouldn’t make me a whore. Yea…no one ever wants that. I did my share of wallowing, playing games, and pushing others away. I asked myself a question one day, and the answer left me warm and tingly all over…I felt like well…tingly…you get the point.

What is bae? Bae is who you tell all the news too. Good. Bad. Indifferent. You waste time with bae. You fight about everything, spend hours talking about nothing, and know everything about each other, yet still find new things about each other that you’ve never known. Bae is the soul that dares to journey life with you. The one who grows as you grow. And crazy enough…bae can have a bae, and yet what you share can supersede that. It’s scary what a bond can do. No sex, no agreement…yet amazingly happy. What’s yours is yours, what’s mine is mine…but in the words of Trey Songz, “holla if you need meeee, always gone be my boo…holla if you neeeed me, you know I still got you, and if you ever need me to be, what you need me to be, just remember you can holla at me.”Yo…I got that. I mean, I legit got that. Not in love or nothing…but yea…I got bae…and bae got me. This is verrrrry interesting. Stay tune.

Am I crazy? Am I just a whore? Am I just confused?

Talk. Tell. Don’t do toooooo much in the comments though.

Be nice.

I’m Growing Up…

Hiiiiiiiiii!!!! How are you? Meanwhile, like and comment on my posts!! I get so much feedback privately, let me know how you guys feel…on here. Make me feel good a bout my self, it is my birthday and all. And share if you care. But I DIGRESS. Let’s talk for a bit.

Meanwhile, I LOVE moments. I am a big baby. I’m the guy with the heart of gold whose words are enchanting and have an overall cool demeanor. I don’t do well with expressing it all often, but all in all…yea..I’m that guy. I live for creating dope moments. I once had albums full of moments I’ve capture in my icloud. Typically good morning texts, random I love you texts, and other jerkish little messages from those I hold close. Pictures in dope places, a snapshot of the sky during a great conversation, I even still have the mailing envelops of random little gifts because the inside still smell like my favorite cologne. Wack, I know. I take MY moments seriously.

Sometimes the greatest misfortune can be damaging a potentially incredible future based on an awesome past. Some things we can’t get back. We have to learn how to embrace what we had, be thankful for the experience, and move on. We can’t make today be what yesterday was. I had a horrible habit of comparing who was there to those that stuck around and would be puzzled why those present were offended. Life doesn’t work that way. We weren’t meant to live in repeat. You can’t make people love you in a way you were once loved. All hearts are not the same. You won’t be treated like how someone treated you because you may not be viewed the same. We all have our pick. And hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, you’re just not the pick of the one you want. Make peace with that, and grow up.

You have dope moments. GREAT.

You were hurt. OH.

You lived a life….GOT IT.

But you must grow up. Life is a journey. There will always be new discoveries. I’m learning to appreciate each moment as they come. Much like snowflakes, no two alike. I’ve have some incredible moments with some incredible people. Moments…that were almost magical. But I’ll never love them that way again. I loved Xena, The Warrior Princess growing up. But I can’t be paid to watch it today. You get it? Things change. And that’s okay. Love comes when it comes in the way that we need it when it comes. I still smile and respect what was, but I’ve grown not to look for that again.  Don’t tarnish a good memory looking for another good feeling.

I’m learning life isn’t about reliving a moment…sometimes it’s about embracing the next.

 

Dear Gray…I’m looking..I’m ready. Let’s write a new book.

-james

Texts, Sex, & Apple Pie.

Monday. August 1, 2016, 6 p.m.

WARNING. I don’t know how this blog will end. I write at times without a blueprint in mind. I’m slightly annoyed. Why, eh…I’m a poet at heart, it’s a rainy Monday, and I missed Judge Judy today…

 

UPDATE.

Tuesday. August 2, 2016, 10:42 a.m.

I couldn’t finish this blog yesterday. At the rate I was going, I shutter to think how it would have ended. I got up, told myself, “life ain’t that serious. This ain’t that serious. Chill out.” Yes, I used the term AIN’T. But digressing. Let’s chat about a few things.

Meanwhile, some times life doesn’t work out the way we want it to. We cry, we grow, we win, and we lose. Relationships don’t always have a happily ever after…but you can have one. We have to forsake our imagination for the sake of a healthy soul. We weren’t created to be detached, anyone who insists on NEVER developing relationships with anyone…isn’t really a healthy soul. We need people…but the right people.

We have to stop putting time, commitment, heart, and tears into “moments”. Texts, Sex, and Apple Pie. We like that instant short hand communication…were we put in little effort in building communication. Stop letting, “I miss you” texts and “I love you” random late night messages make you dumb. Check out timelines, see who isn’t there and why you’re being summonded all of a sudden.  We’re being made to look foolish…and don’t care. Crash the dummy talk. You shouldn’t have to wonder and guess what a person means and what their intentions are…talk up, talk clear, and talk right.

Who doesn’t love sex, right? Yea…you’re evvvverybody’s bae, everyone misses you, and wants you bad when their hormones are on sky ten. Cut it. Culture loves intimacy without commitment. I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m not completely sold on the whole “marriage” idea all the time, but breh…sis. breh…I’m not sticking my penis in everything that wants it. And even if we have….don’t mean we will again. At some point, you gotta’ get tire of the same routine….how many times can you masturbate on FaceTime, Skype or whatever other site? How many pics can you send? We got it, we got it…you have a penis, you have a vagina…you think you’re the best product around…chill out. Discipline yourself to stop running back to the people who see you nothing more than fun trash. It gets lame afterwhile. It isn’t dope that they find you attractive and hit you up first when they want some…what’s dope is getting them to reply to your text after you let them hit. Dummy-up.

Some like apple pie warm, some like it with ice cream. Some won’t eat it store-bought, others won’t eat it unless Granny makes it with the special apples. Personally, I’ll devour it like a savage in a Wal-Mart checkout line. Point is….we all have our picks and preferences. And if you don’t have what we want…we just go on to the next. We like to be full and satisfied…but often full of the wrong stuff. Fed lies, narcissism, and a self loathing regiment that makes us believe that as dumb as we are …we really are okay. Our diets are screwed, yo. We’ve been eating our own dung for so long, that we get mad when others think it stinks and refuse to eat it too.

We gotta’ do better. And better starts with us. Skip the texts…love your self. Skip the sex…well…I mean….whatever. And the learn to try something new. Get a new song. Change the chapter in your life. Be good enough.

I hope this made sense to you…..sure did to me. Am I crazy? Am I dope? Lame or clueless….I don’t know…Let me know your thoughts.